girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
