every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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