you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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