just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can you bring me the toilet please
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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