Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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