He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
