we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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