basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
