Soap is not a condiment
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
