dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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