youre lurking in front of me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
