careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
