woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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