tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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