bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
