im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
