Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
