Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize