Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
