if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
