Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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