I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
