shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
