isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
