The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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