I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
