i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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