hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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