took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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