guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
