I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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