dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
