Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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