Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
3pm strippers are depressing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
