Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
