U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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