he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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