Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize