I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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