this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize