i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
