I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
