after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
