Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
