i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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