The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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