at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
