either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
