wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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