those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
