Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You've changed since you got that strap on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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