Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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