So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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