4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
