? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
