Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
