your parents love me but you hate me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
