She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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